“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”-John Lennon
It’s been a rough year, a year of living with loss, drastic changes, closing down and trying to open up again. I am not just talking about myself, but for many others, for our country and for our world community. So many things feel out of our immediate control and we are reminded daily, through social media, and traditional media, of events that are scary and isolating. It is sometimes a lot to take in all of this information and we need to find a way to achieve some balance. Of course children pick up on our feelings, so it is up to us, as adults, to model some ways we can make lemonade out of the lemons we are given. We can start by realizing how lucky so many of us are.
I used to believe that life was made up of a lot of hard work, achieving goals and eventually getting to the place where we could say we’d made it, we’d arrived at our destination and we could relax and rest on our laurels. Then I started noticing that somehow, things just keep happening, like hurdles, bumps in the road, twists and turns we didn’t anticipate. I used to look around and feel like why is everyone else reaching goals, getting what they want or work for and why does it feel like a struggle for me? Then I looked closer and realized that everyone faces challenges; they may be different, but we all have unexpected life events that set us back or change our path. It is up to us to slow down on the path, to take in what we are given and to respond to things as they are presented instead of reacting through fear, sadness or helplessness. We can’t change everything that comes up in our lives, but we can do our best to approach life with a willingness to learn, the desire to grow, the ability to forgive, and to relate to others with love.
“Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”
-Mother Teresa
L: Love
Love is the primary guide for us on our path through the mystery of life. If we are able to approach the people in our lives, and those we meet along the way, from a place of love, it is a lot easier to find goodness, to find forgiveness to share love and to cherish those in our lives. This love can come from the place of knowing that we are all in the human family, we all can have compassion for each other and wish the best for our fellow humans to live a life filled with people who care for them, a sense of purpose, and able to feel they live in a welcoming world.
“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”-Walt Disney
I: Interest
If we find a way to develop interest and curiosity, the world becomes a much more interesting place in which to live. Approaching life events with interest and curiosity stimulates our minds and keeps us engaged with the world. We can be interested in world events and stay current by reading the newspaper, books and magazines to gain insight through many perspectives, then draw our own conclusions. We can develop an interest in music and listen to many types of music, trying them on and seeing what fits. We can see live performances and experience the thrill of being close to performers, to hear music played and sung right in our presence. We can go to plays and see performers transform before our eyes as we get caught up in the story. Our interest in our world can lead to science discoveries in so many fields and even extending to the universe beyond, that vast unknown that is coming, very slowly, into focus. We can enjoy movies being made now and can reminisce while watching the movies from the past, noticing the small nuances evident in the black and white movies with their mysterious shades of gray and the evolution of “the world of Technicolor.” We can develop an interest in sports, cheer for our home team and find community as a fan. We can learn about new sports that we didn’t grow up playing, or knowing, but then, learn about it and find enjoyment. If we are open to developing our selves and expanding our interests, we get the gift of an unlimited library of life experiences.
“Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.”-Traditional Song
F: Friends and Family
I remember singing that song in Girl Scouts and enjoying the warm feeling of standing in a circle of my Girl Scout friends, holding hands and the sense of belonging I felt. Cultivating friendships is a way to fashion a web that connects us to both our immediate community and the larger community. We cherish our longtime friendships, but they require maintenance and attention. When we take care of our friendships by communicating, checking in, being there when our friends need us, we are the beneficiaries of the same. Friends can be family members too, if we are lucky. As we grow, we have the chance to make new friends, in new schools, new groups and by joining in activities we are interested in. Sometimes we meet new friends through others we know and our friendship base grows. Realizing that our friends and family members are the most precious commodity we can acquire in this life allows us to hold our friends and family in our hearts and to walk with them, hand in hand through the sometimes difficult, yet often joyous path of life.
“Joy to the world
All the boys and girls now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me.”-Three Dog Night
E: Enjoy
Finding joy in our daily tasks, our daily even sometimes-mundane experiences, through mindfulness and awareness of just how special our time in this life is, how precious our life is, is a way to appreciate our journey just a little bit more. Sometimes it is we who bring the joy to others, for example, taking the time to talk to and spend time with others. Sometimes a conversation with an elderly neighbor, friend or relative, something that is a blip in our day, is the very best part of their day. When we are cognizant of the feelings of those around us, when we tune in to their feelings by getting out of our own head and really looking and listening, we have the amazing ability to bring the gift of joy to others. Take the time to look around for people on the fringes, people who seem isolated, shy, lonely, a little introverted, because these people want to be cared about too. Look at the children in our lives and take the time to really look in their eyes, to listen to their thoughts, their fears, their aspirations and hopes.
“Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.” –John Muir
Life is a journey on a path with stones in our way, curves with the unknown around the bend, with exhausting hills and then the easy downhill parts. It is a journey that we can take with others, or sometimes walk alone for a while, but there are rest stops and time to refresh, reboot and refocus. The only thing that’s sure is that we all have time here and for those of us who are lucky, we can have some say in the way we choose to live it.
